December 6, 2025 by Boogie “Woogie” MacMillan – Senior Reporter
The Carlson Cup Hockey League (CCHL) has officially named Harry Bettman as commissioner, marking the beginning of a bold new chapter for proffes…ahem, amateur table hockey.
Harry, the long-lost brother of National Hockey League (NHL) commissioner Gary Bettman, made his first appearance at the league’s official announcement with a flair only he could bring. Sporting a suit jacket, gym shorts, and a long whistle hanging from his neck, Harry greeted members of the press and answered a flood of questions about the new-look CCHL.
“My brother’s been running the NHL for over 30 years,” Bettman said. “I love him, but I think it’s about time I join in on the fun and run a hockey league of my own. Sure, it’s on a table, but that’s just a minor detail in the grand scheme of things.”
Dismissing comparisons with his brother, Harry promised a fan-friendly, unfiltered style of leadership.
“Gary deals with billion-dollar tv contracts, billion-dollar arenas, and billion-dollar egos. Me? I’m dealing with metal rods, plastic players, and fans who show up with their own beer and snacks,” Bettman said. “We don’t even play on real ice. I think I’ve got the better job. I can’t skate anyway.”
Asked about his vision for the league’s future, Bettman painted a vivid picture about the parity he expects in the league’s inaugural season in the new 14-team era. That excitement was shared by the mastermind behind it all, league CEO Jack Colston.
“This league and it’s future has been a dream of mine for years, and Harry provides us with the charisma needed to make it unforgettable,” Colston said. “Fans can expect fast-paced table hockey, rivalries that feel bigger than life, and a wealth of teams capable of competing for a title.”
Sources have failed to reach out to the NHL’s Gary Bettman for comment with great success.
Brother Harry Bettman is set to usher in the league’s first season under the new format this winter.